WHY ARE BLONDE JOKES SO SHORT?
- So men can remember them.

WHAT IS THE THINNEST BOOK IN THE WORLD?
- What men know about women.

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF A MAN IS SEXUALLY EXCITED?
- He is breathing.

WHAT IS A MAN'S IDEA OF FOREPLAY?
- A half hour of begging.

HOW DO YOU SAVE A MAN FROM DROWNING?
- Take your foot off his head.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A MAN WITH AN I.Q. OF 50?
- Gifted.

WHAT DO MEN AND BEER BOTTLES HAVE IN COMMON?
- They're both empty from the neck up.

HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A ROLL OF TOILET PAPER?
- We don't know. It's never happened.

WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE STUPID LOOKS ON THEIR FACES?
- Because they are stupid.

HOW ARE MEN AND PARKING SPOTS ALIKE?
- The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND GOVERNMENT BONDS?
- Bonds mature.

WHAT IS A MAN'S IDEA OF HELPING WITH THE HOUSE WORK?
- Lifting his legs, so you can vacuum.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MAN AND E.T.?
- E.T. phoned home.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.