WHY ARE BLONDE JOKES SO SHORT?
- So men can remember them.
WHAT IS THE THINNEST BOOK IN THE WORLD?
- What men know about women.
HOW CAN YOU TELL IF A MAN IS SEXUALLY EXCITED?
- He is breathing.
WHAT IS A MAN'S IDEA OF FOREPLAY?
- A half hour of begging.
HOW DO YOU SAVE A MAN FROM DROWNING?
- Take your foot off his head.
WHAT DO YOU CALL A MAN WITH AN I.Q. OF 50?
WHAT DO MEN AND BEER BOTTLES HAVE IN COMMON?
- They're both empty from the neck up.
HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A ROLL OF TOILET PAPER?
- We don't know. It's never happened.
WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE STUPID LOOKS ON THEIR FACES?
- Because they are stupid.
HOW ARE MEN AND PARKING SPOTS ALIKE?
- The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND GOVERNMENT BONDS?
- Bonds mature.
WHAT IS A MAN'S IDEA OF HELPING WITH THE HOUSE WORK?
- Lifting his legs, so you can vacuum.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MAN AND E.T.?
- E.T. phoned home.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.