If OS-systems where flight companies
All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it until it gets in the air, hop on, jump off when it hits the ground again. Then they
grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop on, etcetera.
WINDOWS '95 AIRLINES
The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants are all very attractive and the pilots very capable. The fleet is immense. After
your plane arrives 6 months late, you begin to wonder why it has not arrived yet. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above the clouds, and at 20,000 feet it
crashes without warning.
The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the same, feel the same and act the same. When asked questions about the flight they reply
that you don't want to know, don't need to know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.
The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers milling about. Airline personnel walk around, apologising profusely to
customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside the terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how good the real flight
will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than Windows Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for the technicians to finish the flight
FLY WINDOWS NT
All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the chairs in the outline of a plane. They all sit down, flap their arms and
make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying.
WINGS of OS/400
The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably the best and safest planes that ever flew and painted "747" on their tails to make them look as
if they are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend to your every need, though the drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230 per hour, unless you have
SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket and membership in the frequent flyer club.
The passengers all gather in the hanger, watching hundreds of technicians check the flight systems on this immense, luxury aircraft. This plane has
at least 10 engines and seats over 1,000 passengers. All the passengers scramble aboard, as do the necessary complement of 200 technicians. The pilot takes his
place up in the glass cockpit. He guns the engines, only to realise that the plane is too big to get through the hangar doors!
Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box of tools to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what kind of
plane they want to build and how to put it together. Eventually, they build several different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some passengers actually reach
their destinations. All passengers believe they got there.
How you would drive to the store if the operating systems ran your car
You get in the car and try to remember where you put your
You get in the car and drive to the store very slowly,
because attached to the back of the car is a freight train.
Macintosh System 7:
You get in the car to go to the store, and the
car drives you to church.
You get in the car and type GREP STORE. After reaching speeds
of 200 miles per hour en route, you arrive at the barber shop.
You get in the car and write a letter that says, "go to
the store." Then you get out of the car and mail the letter to your
You walk to the store with Ricardo Montalban, who
tells you how wonderful it will be when he can fly you to the store in
After fueling up with 6000 gallons of gas, you get in the car
and drive to the store with a motorcycle escort and a marching band
in procession. Halfway there, the car blows up, killing everybody in
S/36 SSP [mainframe]:
You get in the car and drive to the
store. Halfway there you run out of gas. While walking the rest of
the way, you are run over by kids on mopeds.
An attendant locks you into the car and then drives you to
the store, where you get to watch everybody else buy filet mignons.
Tilbake til norsk side
Back to english version